I am pretty sure I heard that in a country song, but surly that wasn't the first guy to say those words.
Not that I think God would actually laugh at me, we serve a merciful, loving and faithful God. Not one who sits aloof and watches us wreck our lives for a chuckle.
But does God show favoritism to those who spend their lives serving him? For people like my family who read about Jesus and try to live like him?
God showed favoritism to Job, he asked Satan not to kill him.
But for most of the righteous examples for God-fearing people in the old testament, if you served God, and he "blessed" you, that meant that you would have as many sons and daughters as you could squeeze into your tent and riches beyond measure. This was true for Abraham, Jacob, David, and the list goes on. Now these men did endure hardships, loss of children, loss of family, uncontrollable family...But I think looking back on it, I can read about their entire lives in a few hours and so I see the big picture.
Ahh, the big picture. The elusive "plan" for my life. Can I please have a gander at that? Just to read a summary of my life. To see what in the world all of this is for. God tells us in that the rain falls on the righteous and the unrighteous. Now whether you view rain as good or bad, it really doesn't matter. Good things happen to bad people, and vice versa. I just want to know the point.
I know God is with me. I know he watches over me day and night. But God did not promise us an easy life, a good life, a life filled with health and wealth. He promised us an eternity with him in Heaven. That has got to be the last sentence of my life summary. Because nothing that happens to me here on this earth means anything with out that sweet reward at the end of the road.
I recently read part of a book (lent it out, will finish it someday) called Plan B. Every chapter reminded me of either myself, my family or a family that I love dearly who is enduring some kind of trial in their life that they never imagined they would have to. Everyone's life eventually takes some kind of path that they wish they didn't have to travel. No one sits down as a little girl and says "I'd like to be divorced by the time I'm 26" or "Someday I'll lost a child in a tragic way". No one does. Because we just don't think it will happen to us!
But it will, something will. The gist of the book is that God is still with you. Even for the worst parts. He said it better than I am, but you get it. It's normal. If I ever get a job with Hallmark, I am going to invent a sympathy card that simply says:
"I'm sorry. This sucks."
Because sometimes that's all you can really handle hearing.
If you don't have Jesus in your life, I highly recommend him. My saving grace, my merciful savior, my rock, my deliverance.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
What germs?
If you know me, you know I've never been a germ-o-phob. If you really know me, you may think I have a flagrant disregard for them all together. I try not to be gross or anything, and having a child has made me a little more conscious of the little guys, but honestly, I think I might not even really believe in germs.
I had a teacher in college who was talking about really remote villages that have medicine men and use voodoo and that type of thing to treat what ails you. I can almost remember what he said verbatim, "You know people get sick, they don't feel well, so they go to the witch doctor, who utters some phrases and gives them a concoction to take. Then 3 or 4 days later, they feel better. We in America don't feel good, we go to a licensed medical doctor and pay them money, they tell us we got sick from germs and give us some antibiotics. Then 3 or 4 days later, we are all better." And suddenly, what little hold germs had over me just evaporated.
Now I wash my hands after handling raw meat, or doing something that actually seems gross AND touches my skin, but I do not buy antibacterial soap and I am not one of those moms who carries hand gel in my diaper bag. Maybe I should, but it's been 2 years and we're all fine. And here's a fun fact, my mother bought me 2 pump bottles of antibacterial hand gel when my son was born, and they are both still sitting around. One by the kitchen sink and one on his changing table. They are like, 1/3 full.
Today at work, I needed a cup of coffee and I was in a rush to get to a meeting. I grabbed my cup, intending to fill it on my way out the door and realized I didn't wash it on friday, I just poured out my old coffee and set it on my desk. But how sick could I get from old coffee residue? So I did a quick rinse with hot water (which did nothing to remove the brown color from the bottom of the cup...) and refilled and pretended it was a clean cup. That was about 3 hours ago, so we'll see if I make it through the night.
I eat food that falls on the floor. And I let my child do the same thing.
Now for all of you that want to reconsider being my friend, here are some things that I am actually a stickler on:
*Cross contamination when prepping food. I do NOT use the same spoon to dip out sour cream and then salsa. Nor do I EVER dip food out with a spoon I've licked. This is something my mother ingrained upon me. Not sure why this is the only thing that stuck ;)
*I wash my hands before cooking something. Unless it is something like break and bake cookies for me only. I mean, they are going into a 350 degree oven, if it lives through that it deserves to find a permanent home in my small intestines. I think I mainly do this b/c I have a dog now and you never know where those dog hairs pop up and it GROSSES me out to find them in my food...YUCK!
*hmmm, I think that may be it.
Remember, germs only exist when you give them power...
I had a teacher in college who was talking about really remote villages that have medicine men and use voodoo and that type of thing to treat what ails you. I can almost remember what he said verbatim, "You know people get sick, they don't feel well, so they go to the witch doctor, who utters some phrases and gives them a concoction to take. Then 3 or 4 days later, they feel better. We in America don't feel good, we go to a licensed medical doctor and pay them money, they tell us we got sick from germs and give us some antibiotics. Then 3 or 4 days later, we are all better." And suddenly, what little hold germs had over me just evaporated.
Now I wash my hands after handling raw meat, or doing something that actually seems gross AND touches my skin, but I do not buy antibacterial soap and I am not one of those moms who carries hand gel in my diaper bag. Maybe I should, but it's been 2 years and we're all fine. And here's a fun fact, my mother bought me 2 pump bottles of antibacterial hand gel when my son was born, and they are both still sitting around. One by the kitchen sink and one on his changing table. They are like, 1/3 full.
Today at work, I needed a cup of coffee and I was in a rush to get to a meeting. I grabbed my cup, intending to fill it on my way out the door and realized I didn't wash it on friday, I just poured out my old coffee and set it on my desk. But how sick could I get from old coffee residue? So I did a quick rinse with hot water (which did nothing to remove the brown color from the bottom of the cup...) and refilled and pretended it was a clean cup. That was about 3 hours ago, so we'll see if I make it through the night.
I eat food that falls on the floor. And I let my child do the same thing.
Now for all of you that want to reconsider being my friend, here are some things that I am actually a stickler on:
*Cross contamination when prepping food. I do NOT use the same spoon to dip out sour cream and then salsa. Nor do I EVER dip food out with a spoon I've licked. This is something my mother ingrained upon me. Not sure why this is the only thing that stuck ;)
*I wash my hands before cooking something. Unless it is something like break and bake cookies for me only. I mean, they are going into a 350 degree oven, if it lives through that it deserves to find a permanent home in my small intestines. I think I mainly do this b/c I have a dog now and you never know where those dog hairs pop up and it GROSSES me out to find them in my food...YUCK!
*hmmm, I think that may be it.
Remember, germs only exist when you give them power...
Saturday, January 22, 2011
A sad, sad tale.
So what do you do when you're in the middle of a really sad movie? I mean, possibly the saddest movie you've ever seen. Do you turn it off? Do you keep watching hoping for a happy resolution...? I am watching P.S. I love you right now, and seriously, I've cried about 17 times already and I think I've still got a half hour left. Not spoiling the plot, just in case you want to check out a 3-4 year old movie, but the plot revolves around a woman who has lost her husband and he has arranged for her to get a letter every month or two with life advice and painful reminders of their past together...
I mean, why would you make a movie like this?? It is seriously my worst nightmare played out on screen. Apparently in my worst nightmare, I look like Hilary Swank, ha!
But alas, I finish bad books, I watch till the end of tv shows, even cartoons. Once I was keeping a friends daughter and she brought over "Barbie Mariposa"...we watched about an hour of it before her nap, and I will confess to you that after she went to sleep I watched the rest, completely solo. I can't stand an unresolved plot.
Well writing this has probably saved me at least one crying spell. Do yourself a favor and take this one off your queue ASAP!
[edit: made it to the end with 4 more major crying outbreaks and 2 mild eyes misting over spells. a special thanks to my husband for not mocking me and to the bag of sour cream and cheddar lays which i am about to finish.]
I mean, why would you make a movie like this?? It is seriously my worst nightmare played out on screen. Apparently in my worst nightmare, I look like Hilary Swank, ha!
But alas, I finish bad books, I watch till the end of tv shows, even cartoons. Once I was keeping a friends daughter and she brought over "Barbie Mariposa"...we watched about an hour of it before her nap, and I will confess to you that after she went to sleep I watched the rest, completely solo. I can't stand an unresolved plot.
Well writing this has probably saved me at least one crying spell. Do yourself a favor and take this one off your queue ASAP!
[edit: made it to the end with 4 more major crying outbreaks and 2 mild eyes misting over spells. a special thanks to my husband for not mocking me and to the bag of sour cream and cheddar lays which i am about to finish.]
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Blah.
People crying on American Idol. Blah. I'm only watching the last 10 min before the local news...But I wouldn't judge you (to your face) if you watched it for real ;)
I have had a cold or something for almost 2 weeks, I'm a mucus machine, double blah.
In other non-blah news, I got a super cool new highchair today off craigslist! I loooove craigslist. It's the bomb. Whatever you want, I guarantee that if you have the patience you can get it for the price you want off CL. I got a space-saver highchair, it fits into the seat of a normal dining room chair, thus saving us space :) We have been using a booster w/ tray for the last year or so, and it's great. But I keep an extra 1 year old a day or 2 every week and when I saw this cute one for $10 I snapped it up. I knew I would want one eventually and it will make life easier for those days when I'm outnumbered.
Winter weather advisory tomorrow...whoopty doo. I hope it's not too bad, we just can't handle it down here!
I'll leave you with some random photos, enjoy!
This is a real place...we pass it all the time and finally took a picture! Nobody submit this to Jay Leno, we're doing it!!! And come on, "Enrolling Now"!!!!
I have had a cold or something for almost 2 weeks, I'm a mucus machine, double blah.
In other non-blah news, I got a super cool new highchair today off craigslist! I loooove craigslist. It's the bomb. Whatever you want, I guarantee that if you have the patience you can get it for the price you want off CL. I got a space-saver highchair, it fits into the seat of a normal dining room chair, thus saving us space :) We have been using a booster w/ tray for the last year or so, and it's great. But I keep an extra 1 year old a day or 2 every week and when I saw this cute one for $10 I snapped it up. I knew I would want one eventually and it will make life easier for those days when I'm outnumbered.
Winter weather advisory tomorrow...whoopty doo. I hope it's not too bad, we just can't handle it down here!
I'll leave you with some random photos, enjoy!
Getting back from the bank with his sucker (they walked in the snow)
Looking like a hot mess after eating spaghetti...yes, we got his hair cut last week.
This is a real place...we pass it all the time and finally took a picture! Nobody submit this to Jay Leno, we're doing it!!! And come on, "Enrolling Now"!!!!Saturday, January 15, 2011
Fussiness and Weekend Fun!
At what point do kids think they know better than their parents? I sure remember thinking as a teenager that I was pretty darn smart. Haha, little did I know. But I am thinking that Will already thinks he's smarter than me! The struggle for independence is (from what I understand) a big cause of the terrible twos. The other main cause is lack of communication. So he wants to go upstairs to get a car and he'd like me to accompany him. Instead of using the words that he knows, something like this, "Mama, stair? Car?" It goes more like this,
Him: Car!
Me: Here's a car!
Him: CAR!! (angrier)
Me: You've got 2 cars right here baby, do you want to play cars?
Him: (Falls down crying) Carrrrr...caaaaaaaah!!!!!!! (dissolving into tears...)
5 minutes later, he'll pull my hand upstairs where there is car that he's left up there.
But just the other day, we were eating and he was wanting to use his for to eat noodles and green beans. Baby forks are really more like sporks, which are perfect. He sometimes scoops food, and sometimes pokes it. In this case, he was trying to poke spaghetti noodles. From my vast experience, I know this will not work. I tell him the noodles are too small to poke. He gets mad. I offer suggestions of scooping, using hands...not helping. So he's mad that he can't poke the noodles and he's mad that I'm trying to help. Lose lose? Am I going to have to watch this for the next, oh, 20 years??? Probably.
I really am pretty good about letting him try what ever he wants, you know, just discovering by doing. I generally only step in when he is already frustrated. Sometimes there's just no winning :) But it can be entertaining to watch. No matter the amount of crying.
In other news, he has been promoted to 2 minute time outs (3 weeks early!) and I've invented the "bye-bye" bag. It's a black bag, up at the top of my closet, that he has to put toys in that he's thrown or used as a weapon. Pretty good, right??
Now for the weekend fun! One of my very dearest friends recently adopted a baby boy from Ethiopia! She and her husband just brought him home about a week ago. As luck would have it, they had a family wedding to attend nearby and they were able to stay with us for 2 nights! It was glorious! To see their sweet family all together, to see the joy in all of their faces! Love! Their baby just turned 1 a few weeks ago and he's really getting the hang of walking. So there was lots of playing and ball throwing around here. I wish we could have spent a bit more time with them, but we both worked friday and they had to leave this morning for the wedding. It was so special though. I feel like adopters are very brave. You never know what you're going to get. Not that you can predict anything about your biological child either, but you at least have control over how they are raised in their early months. But that's me, the control side I guess. Speaking of controlling, I was just at Old Navy and I saw a VERY small baby in a stroller with no socks. Hello! It's January! I literally had to turn away from them to keep from saying "where are her socks?! It's 50 degrees outside!!" sigh...I despise unsolicited advice...but I do not despise offering it ;)
Him: Car!
Me: Here's a car!
Him: CAR!! (angrier)
Me: You've got 2 cars right here baby, do you want to play cars?
Him: (Falls down crying) Carrrrr...caaaaaaaah!!!!!!! (dissolving into tears...)
5 minutes later, he'll pull my hand upstairs where there is car that he's left up there.
But just the other day, we were eating and he was wanting to use his for to eat noodles and green beans. Baby forks are really more like sporks, which are perfect. He sometimes scoops food, and sometimes pokes it. In this case, he was trying to poke spaghetti noodles. From my vast experience, I know this will not work. I tell him the noodles are too small to poke. He gets mad. I offer suggestions of scooping, using hands...not helping. So he's mad that he can't poke the noodles and he's mad that I'm trying to help. Lose lose? Am I going to have to watch this for the next, oh, 20 years??? Probably.
I really am pretty good about letting him try what ever he wants, you know, just discovering by doing. I generally only step in when he is already frustrated. Sometimes there's just no winning :) But it can be entertaining to watch. No matter the amount of crying.
In other news, he has been promoted to 2 minute time outs (3 weeks early!) and I've invented the "bye-bye" bag. It's a black bag, up at the top of my closet, that he has to put toys in that he's thrown or used as a weapon. Pretty good, right??
Now for the weekend fun! One of my very dearest friends recently adopted a baby boy from Ethiopia! She and her husband just brought him home about a week ago. As luck would have it, they had a family wedding to attend nearby and they were able to stay with us for 2 nights! It was glorious! To see their sweet family all together, to see the joy in all of their faces! Love! Their baby just turned 1 a few weeks ago and he's really getting the hang of walking. So there was lots of playing and ball throwing around here. I wish we could have spent a bit more time with them, but we both worked friday and they had to leave this morning for the wedding. It was so special though. I feel like adopters are very brave. You never know what you're going to get. Not that you can predict anything about your biological child either, but you at least have control over how they are raised in their early months. But that's me, the control side I guess. Speaking of controlling, I was just at Old Navy and I saw a VERY small baby in a stroller with no socks. Hello! It's January! I literally had to turn away from them to keep from saying "where are her socks?! It's 50 degrees outside!!" sigh...I despise unsolicited advice...but I do not despise offering it ;)
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Let it snow...?
Well that's what they're saying anyway! The weathermen around here LIVE for January and February. They single-handedly control the rushes on Walmart and empty shelves of bread at Kroger...And they LOVE it! Today the biggest story in news was the tragic shooting in Tuscon..only in central AR would this take a backseat to the possible winter weather on it's way tomorrow. Now in the past, I have not been a fan of winter weather. It's cold, it's messy, the roads are terrible and until I had a baby, I still had to show up for work!! But now, I think I'd like a little snow, even ice! For one, I think it would be fun to see the boys playing in it, but for two, it would give me a hand around the house b/c John's work gets closed at the sight of the first snowflake!
The second year that I was living here was the WORST. Now you may already know, I work for "the man". The faceless, heartless, unsympathetic man. On this particular year, Christmas and New Years both fell on Saturdays and so we did not get a day off for vacation and due to company wide blackouts, I had to work as usual on Dec 24th.
I came home to my humble (rat hole) apartment on the evening on the 23rd to fire trucks and utility vehicles. I lived on the 2nd floor, and the apartment above me and one over had pipes bust. So water is gushing EVERYwhere and as a side note it's about 20 degrees outside with no hopes of rising for days. The apartment next to me, below me and the one next to that one were all flooded. This was also a wake up call to me that I should have renter's insurance. Which I never got. The poor guy next to me got his door kicked in by the firemen and all they did was leave him a note that said "kicked in door"....DUH! I think when your apartment is full of water, your door frame is mangled and your threshold is missing you can piece together that your door was kicked in...So that guy knocks on my door at like 10 pm asking to use the phone b/c as it would turn out, he is also legally blind and can't drive so he has to have someone come get him, scary for the SWF!
Anyhow, I wake up the next morning and the parking lot was an ice skating rink. And it's snowing. I legitimately tried to get out of the parking lot of these apartments, that had "Valley" in the name, but that just wasn't happening. So I go back in and start to ponder the idea of spending Christmas alone in the apt....It was heartbreaking. I mean, to stay here, completely alone. Boyfriend had been taken to the airport days earlier, I assumed no one in the city would be able to drive to come get me and I would just sit and eat cereal for days until the weather turned...After a couple hours I tried getting out again and after about a half an hour of spinning my wheels up different (uphill) side streets trying to get to the road, I just sat in my car and cried. I called my dad, who gave me some driving tips, then I cried some more. There were several other fellow tenants doing the same thing and a neighbor drove by me, giving me a beckoning wave to go the way he was going. So I did, and we both got out!!! I hit the main road, got out to the highway, and set the cruise on 70! I have literally never been happier to leave home!
All that being said, if we get snow, we are going to stay right here, and take lots of pictures! I'm definitely not alone anymore :)
The second year that I was living here was the WORST. Now you may already know, I work for "the man". The faceless, heartless, unsympathetic man. On this particular year, Christmas and New Years both fell on Saturdays and so we did not get a day off for vacation and due to company wide blackouts, I had to work as usual on Dec 24th.
I came home to my humble (rat hole) apartment on the evening on the 23rd to fire trucks and utility vehicles. I lived on the 2nd floor, and the apartment above me and one over had pipes bust. So water is gushing EVERYwhere and as a side note it's about 20 degrees outside with no hopes of rising for days. The apartment next to me, below me and the one next to that one were all flooded. This was also a wake up call to me that I should have renter's insurance. Which I never got. The poor guy next to me got his door kicked in by the firemen and all they did was leave him a note that said "kicked in door"....DUH! I think when your apartment is full of water, your door frame is mangled and your threshold is missing you can piece together that your door was kicked in...So that guy knocks on my door at like 10 pm asking to use the phone b/c as it would turn out, he is also legally blind and can't drive so he has to have someone come get him, scary for the SWF!
Anyhow, I wake up the next morning and the parking lot was an ice skating rink. And it's snowing. I legitimately tried to get out of the parking lot of these apartments, that had "Valley" in the name, but that just wasn't happening. So I go back in and start to ponder the idea of spending Christmas alone in the apt....It was heartbreaking. I mean, to stay here, completely alone. Boyfriend had been taken to the airport days earlier, I assumed no one in the city would be able to drive to come get me and I would just sit and eat cereal for days until the weather turned...After a couple hours I tried getting out again and after about a half an hour of spinning my wheels up different (uphill) side streets trying to get to the road, I just sat in my car and cried. I called my dad, who gave me some driving tips, then I cried some more. There were several other fellow tenants doing the same thing and a neighbor drove by me, giving me a beckoning wave to go the way he was going. So I did, and we both got out!!! I hit the main road, got out to the highway, and set the cruise on 70! I have literally never been happier to leave home!
All that being said, if we get snow, we are going to stay right here, and take lots of pictures! I'm definitely not alone anymore :)
Friday, January 7, 2011
Control FREAK.
Yup, that's me. You name it, I have a specific (right) way that I want it done. Usually a time frame too. I know I have always been a bit like this, but having kids, even getting a dog, really flipped this switch for me. Why do I so desperately try to control every moment in time? I think I feel like there are so many things out there that I cannot control, that I'd better take advantage of the ones I can. Who knows!
I have been trying to take it easy tonight, but I was already signed up to host our book club, which I LOOOVE. So John, my wonderful husband, came home from work early to make sure the house was picked up and vacuumed and totally took care of Will and fed him dinner while I layed on the couch. Then when book clubbers came over, he took care of Will and put him to bed. I actually had the thought, while in the midst of discussion, I hope John puts the right pajamas on Will. The ones that are out have oatmeal on the leg from yesterday...
And do you know what would happen to that sweet baby if he went to bed in oatmeal jammies???? Oh it would be the worst!! He could pick at the oatmeal, possibly have a leaky diaper and the oatmeal could reliquify and meld onto the sheets, or WORST CASE SCENARIO, child protective services could make a surprise visit, see my dirty child and take him away forever....No. Not at all. He would sleep great and cry in the morning when I tried to take off said dirty pjs with the "mane" on them (airplane).
I should be so grateful to have such a FANtastic man who would do all these things without even protesting, or even interrupting book club once to ask a question. He's great. And yet, if something is done even remotely different from what I consider to be "right", I just can't handle it. I resolve all the time, not just on 1-1-11 to be less bossy and less controlling and it.is.hard. But I will continue to try. Say it with me, "just roll with it..." yeah. We'll see! But here's to trying to be a better person, it's never too late :)
I have been trying to take it easy tonight, but I was already signed up to host our book club, which I LOOOVE. So John, my wonderful husband, came home from work early to make sure the house was picked up and vacuumed and totally took care of Will and fed him dinner while I layed on the couch. Then when book clubbers came over, he took care of Will and put him to bed. I actually had the thought, while in the midst of discussion, I hope John puts the right pajamas on Will. The ones that are out have oatmeal on the leg from yesterday...
And do you know what would happen to that sweet baby if he went to bed in oatmeal jammies???? Oh it would be the worst!! He could pick at the oatmeal, possibly have a leaky diaper and the oatmeal could reliquify and meld onto the sheets, or WORST CASE SCENARIO, child protective services could make a surprise visit, see my dirty child and take him away forever....No. Not at all. He would sleep great and cry in the morning when I tried to take off said dirty pjs with the "mane" on them (airplane).
I should be so grateful to have such a FANtastic man who would do all these things without even protesting, or even interrupting book club once to ask a question. He's great. And yet, if something is done even remotely different from what I consider to be "right", I just can't handle it. I resolve all the time, not just on 1-1-11 to be less bossy and less controlling and it.is.hard. But I will continue to try. Say it with me, "just roll with it..." yeah. We'll see! But here's to trying to be a better person, it's never too late :)
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